or is life totally depressing?

when i was studying to be a computer programmer, we had an economics lecture and my friend Bruce came and sat down beside me and listened to the professor drone for a few moments and then leaned over and whispered, is it just me, or is life totally depressing? and i laughed..

well I’m here to say.. it’s no longer funny.

Yes, I’m a Christian, but that doesn’t mean my mind is not open to alternative treatments.. I love EFT and BSFF, stuff like that. Anyway, I thought I would try self hypnosis and then getting my hubby to read me stuff i had written. The first time he read it, you could say I wasn’t in a trance, hehe. All I did was argue with him in my mind. ‘You’ll never smoke again’… me: eeeyeah right, watch me! stuff like that…

but the second time i was just sort of listening instead of arguing with him, and it was about stuff like cooking and cleaning, stuff i never do basically…

So since this time I have done the dishes TWICE simply because I wanted it clean!! but I must admit that it may have backfired a bit, in that a mess may drive me nuts now, but i still feel no desire to do anything about it so in the end, i just added to the list of things that drive me nuts.. i’m not sure if i should try the hypnosis thing again…

Crissy Polaroid, originally uploaded by mo better.

This is a picture of a picture, a polaroid of my beloved poodle Crissy. She lived for 20 years, and was my rock in a hard place. May she rest in peace.

oh my heavens our internet just went down! I totally freaked out and made my husband jump thru hoops to get it back up. he was talking with tech support and his cheek pressed the disconnect button, and he wouldn’t phone them back, so I totally freaked out at that too. Luckily, my internet connection came back up magically a few moments later. I had been staring lifelessly at my email inbox, when suddenly it got an email, and we were back in business! all i gotta say is WHEW! I was envisioning a life yawning before me with no access to the outside world, someday somebody would come over and find my corpse with my bony finger over the refresh button. but no, we’re ok now.. just so you all know

I’m trying to think of ways to make our livingroom/office area look better without actually spending any money. i’m going to do a hack job, but it should free up some space. to give us a more airey feeling. the big problem is our HUGE tv. it’s big, and it’s the older technology with the big back. so there is basically only one place we can put it. but i’m going to put it behind my computer table, which faces into the room right now, and from now on i will be staring at the back of the tv while i’m at my computer, which sucks, but we really have to get the couch out of the middle of the room. it makes everything look so small and cluttered. having a nice open floor space will be better. i’m sure that staring at the back of the tv will get to me, but i can’t think of anything else to do. maybe it will help me to spend less time at my computer.

my husband was complaining that our place isn’t cozy enuff, and it is pretty modern and industrial.. we have black metal futons with black covers (always covered in chihuahua hair).. so i was trying to look into the ikea site for blankets, and suddenly i remembered these flannel duvet covers with a brown and creme plaid pattern on them.. so i covered the two couches and i’m trying to tell myself it’s shabby chique. i don’t mind it though, as a make shift move for the cozier.

anyway, after this is over, it will look bigger on the couch/tv side of the room, but i will be cramped in behind the tv in my computer area. i wish i could think of something different, but i can’t. i’ve been thinking about it for two days. aaah well, onward and upward.