Mabel & West Pier, originally uploaded by cliffordsax.

Other people seem to do so much better than i do with the Ricoh GRD II, or maybe this person has the original GRD.. which i’m probably going to order haha.. the funny thing was, i ordered the GRD II for the ability to shoot RAW, and now I want the original GRD for the ability to shoot JPG… I’m a flibbertyjibbet, for sure

13 Reasons not to get a job…

1.  because work is no fun

2.  because i always need a massage after working

3.  because bosses are always ordering you around

4.  because they always put me in a cubicle beside someone with narcolepsy

5.  because i like sitting around on the couch all day

6.  a salary is only for people that don’t know how to finance everything

7.  great for bon bon eating

8.  endurance is more important than a job

9.  what good is it if a man gains an entire job, but loses his soul?

10.  i hate coffee maker talk

11.  anybody can work, try and find meaning to life while doing absolutely nothing!

12.  it’ll put hair on yer chest

13.  coz all you have to do is plan ahead, that way you don’t have to do anything right now!!

GOLD FISH, originally uploaded by KaStBa.

I think this is my fave photo on flickr… it’s by user KaStBa… I used to have a gold fish that I just loved, it lived for like 3 years, and used to come up to the edge of the glass to say hello.. I could never keep a goldfish alive after that one, it makes me sad

 

hands, originally uploaded by mo better.

this is my first entry to get 50 views on flickr, woohoo! I have actually had pics get 100’s of views, but they were from my camera phone, i don’t know WHY people looked at those, maybe it was from when flickr was young, hehe

these hands remind me of a religious statue, or painting, not sure which.. speaking of religious, i got a copy of ‘The Power of Positive Thinking’, which is a more sane version of the secret, in that it’s from a Christian perspective, not a new age one.  Of course it sounds like a lot more WORK, than the secret, but it’s much more comforting to know God is with me on this…

When you think about it, the Polaroid was an astounding invention.. I mean wouldn’t it be cool to have a way of developing your film at home in some tiny tech box, someday they should invent that.. Polaroid is the only one who has come close to that.. I would use a polaroid if the film weren’t so durned expensive, and besides, I heard somewhere that they are discontinuing it, I’m not sure if that was just a vicious rumor.. Here’s a fun vid on the SX70..

Actually, I have changed my mind about ‘The Secret’.. It may be mumbo jumbo to call God ‘the universe’.. but we can ignore that bit. I think it’s a very good idea to have a whole book about that sort of thing, change your thinking, change your life stuff. I have been feeling A WHOLE LOT better since I have sort of been guiding my thoughts toward health and wealth and such. well maybe I’m having less luck with the wealth thoughts, but certainly the health thoughts have made me feel alot alot alot better. And it’s very freeing to think you don’t HAVE TO think about all the bad stuff to ’solve the problem’.. it’s like an excuse to do heroin

But anyway, I was popping ativan at least once a day, to give myself a feeling of well being, and NOW, I seem to be able to do it on my own. It IS a little bit hard to counter act a bad feeling when it’s rising up in you, but it’s worth it.. if you just remember that the bad feelings/thoughts are BAD for you, it’s pretty easy to give them up. When you think about how the bad thoughts are bringing bad things into your life, well, hasta la vista baby.

There’s a part of me thats on ‘feel sorry for myself’ crack, so i have to break that habit. But I think we all want to feel good, even if we do have bad habits. So even though the book is totally whack at times, I think over all it’s a great idea to change your thinking for the better.

my husband moved the air conditioner over at this end of the room, by the couch that i sit on… aaaaaah, it’s heavenly. before he had it at the other end of our very long living room, by HIS computer station, so he sat there all day and was cool.. now I’M cool I love it when my husband takes care of me.. I’m like totally sexist that way I guess. But I just want to feel loved and taken care of.. I wonder how many other women are that way, deep down. Only it’s not so deep down with me anymore haha. I readily admit it! I’m having hot flashes baby, doooooooo somethiiiiiing

I just wanted to say, that if you have a bad back, memory foam mattresses SUCK. They feel like heaven when you first lie down, but they react to core body heat during the night, and sorta sink in the middle of where you are sleeping, so that the middle of your back, which should have the most support, ends up in a big dip. you wake up with your back killing you. not that any mattress can help if you have a really bad back, but some help more than others.. a nice pillow top simmons beauty rest is good sometimes.. but the best way i have found to sleep is to go to a foam store, you know the kind that usually make beds for RVs and such. and get yourself a chunk of thick supportive but soft regular FOAM, and then put some egg carton toppers on it. my back still hurts in the morning, but i can pretty much sleep through the night, and don’t wake up in tears.

I finally took the roll of film in from one of my lomo cameras, and it was a great disappointment to me. I don’t see any advantage to the film version and a fake lomo effect on my computer. Plus half of my film was BLANK, and there’s no explanation for that. there was alot of out of focus pictures of my dog, where she was too close. and the results in indoor light are not artistic.

One camera I’m looking at buying is the Sigma DP-1, it has a large sensor so it’s pictures have really nice clarity, and the quality of the light is almost a glowy silver. Granted there’s nothing artistic about the pictures, but they sure are purday. it’s $800 though, so perhaps I’ll have to wait until Christmas to get it. here’s a link to some sample pictures from the DP-1 *click here* 

A friend of mine says unless i want to die like elvis i have to get off the years of sleeping pills. I have to take so many now, and take them with pain killers and ativan, just to get a bit of sleep, not usually until the wee hours of the morning. He says it will be hell to quit, but i’ve got to do it. Now isn’t that a cheery thought?

I bought the book ‘The Secret’ tonight.  I don’t normally buy new age mass hysteria books lol.  But i’ve been so negative lately, and it’s true even in the Christian tradition that thoughts are things.  So I figured it couldn’t hurt to get a whole book on the subject and drive it into my head that I  just shouldn’t be thinking and feeling the way i do.  it’s very irresponsible of me  I’ve only read just into the second chapter so far, but I’m enjoying it, it’s simple reading, and very calming.  Will let you know if I recommend.

Update: I don’t recommend the secret, calling God ‘the universe’ is mumbo jumbo.. and believing you will get 100 million dollars by the end of the month, couldn’t be considered in God’s will for most of us who don’t have the capacity, so it’s just delusion, not faith…

I’ve been up for 2 days straight.  I just got pissed off at my insomnia and taking a whack of pills every night to go to sleep, and the pills don’t even work.  So I just stayed up.  I was tired enough to sleep a couple times, but I wanted to see canadian idol tonight.  now idol is over and i’m wide awake.  tho i do feel like i’m gonna hurl.  So I’m eating chocolate covered licorice and feeling like maybe i’ll stay up another day.  what’s a little psychosis between friends?

I have been blessed with a dear friendship.  His name is Brother Tony, a preacher from Alabama.  And it seems he wants to blog with us!  So I installed another wordpress blog for him.  That’s the only thing wrong with wordpress imho.  It doesn’t have the ability for multiple blogs.  But I don’t mind a little bit of extra work, for dear Tony.  I hope he enjoys the blog, and I’m going to have to learn how to get readers! I’ve never bothered for my own blogs since they are boring as all get out.  But I’m sure we all want to keep an eye on Brother Tony’s Blog check it out chyeah!
update, brother tony PISSED ME OFF, and I deleted his blog

who wants facebook, or myspace, lol everything is more of a pain in the ass than anything.. and the dream is always ellusive..

I finally broke down and looked into facebook. At the urging of family. Now I have 3 friends, well.. family, on my page. But I have been having fun looking for cool apps to put on it. Though when you google for apps they always seem to be talking about the same ones. Anyway, it’s kinda cool even though big brother is probably watching me.

i managed to rearrange my furniture into a new room WITHOUT decorating advice. we have TONS of floor space now. it’s a total trek across the living room. i’m going out to look for a cool fan, one that’s sort of decorative. coz right now the air conditioning is just blowing on the back of the tv. the only thing that messed me up is a surge protector cord isn’t long enuff, but hubby says he can rearrange things to make it all work. our place looks huge! i’m so excited. my hubby still has to fix up his computer area tho. but all in all we are pretty near done!

I have decided I’m going to put my computer on an accent table at the end of the couch. Since I have an iMac there’s only the monitor and keyboard.. oh and the mouse. the mouse will be a little bit of a problem. the table i have in mind is pretty small. but at least i won’t be staring at the back of the tv while i’m on my puter.. and my husband will have the entire computer area to himself. and i bought him another set of ikea shelves for all his computer crap. ..yeah we had a wee trip to ikea tonight, i spent a hundred bucks, on not much. i think that essential things should be free does that make me a communist? lol maybe.. i just think that people should be taken care of. actually i think that just makes me a Christian.

smoking too many ciggies first thing in the morning no doubt.

My back hasn’t even recovered from the other night and tonight a bunch of us were making cards. so i made this fancy card that you pulled on a tab and two end pieces came out… i stamped them with goldfish and bubbles, and colored the goldfish orange to match my orange accent paper and the orange ribbon, but the card itself was lime green, very bright it was.

On the front i wrote ‘hey baby !!!’ and on the left side i wrote ‘let’s get a fish!’ and on the right side i wrote ‘love exo’..

we prolly won’t get a fish tho

but i gave it my best shot.

i only went tonight to make up for missing a party the other night.. i’m only allowed to make excuses about half the time lol.

You ever have one of those back crunching days that never seems to end? it’s like 4:30 in the morning and i just got home.. now i have to wait for the pain killers to kick in before i go to sleep. first off the day started with a GANG of us storming ‘Michael’s’, you know that huge ass hobby craft store? estrogen! incoming! we went there sometime in the afternoon and didn’t get out until almost seven o’clock.. and we were due at a cranium party at seven. that was an adventure, imagine thirty people playing cramium, the noise level was deafening… that many people playing and i still had time to sneak out for ciggies when it was the other teams turn. it was fun, but i think the most fun i had was playing with my fave niece, she’s like 6, she’s the only one i can relate to on a consistent basis lol.. she totally laughs at everything, just like me. we were trying to scare each other in the back seat of the van.. she was better at it then me, i got her to turn her head slowly and say stuff like ‘they’re baaaack’ in a whisper type voice and ‘they mostly come at night.. mostly’.. i managed to scare her with a simple ‘booga booga’ and she almost started crying lol the poor wee thing. so i got her all riled up and she wouldn’t go to bed, this is part of my job as an auntie. she was sitting on the dinning room table crossed legged after we got home from the cranium party, and we were commencing to play sherades into the wee hours, anyway, suddenly my little niece shuts her eyes and puts herself in the lotus position, with her hands in the right spot and everything, and she goes ‘OMMMMMMMM’ and we all nearly pee’d ourselves laughing, so she kept doing it until our stomachs hurt. i was like, wtf?? are they teaching you that in SCHOOL? lol… poor little maleable mind. hehe….

i was the one who had to act out all the sherades while heather sat there and guessed. it was aerobic. i’m all sweaty and tired now. but all in all it’s a good kind of tired. as much as i go kicking and screaming to be dragged around by everyone, i usually end up having a good time.

This guy in myspace wrote me a message and just SPEWED hate all over me lol. That sort of thing doesn’t bother me after the initial reaction, because words like that don’t deserve respect. they can say all these awful things about me, and it just goes in one ear, mucks me up for a second, then goes out the other ear. who i am is between me and God, and He loves me! so because of that, i love myself. and no no they can’t take that away from me… lalala.

I bought a paint by number kit last night. To me the idea sounds great, but as my time of actually starting to do it approaches, I find I’m balking. I am cleaning off an area to paint, sloooowly. I mean cleaning slowly, not painting slowly. Part of me is still looking forward to starting, and another part of me is resisting it, the way I resist all projects. But I must say I haven’t felt this good about a project in… I don’t know when. Usually the way it goes is I like the idea of the finished product and torture myself through doing it. But this is the other way around. Who cares about a finished paint by number? lol.. it’s the painting itself that i want to do. i’ll have to wear my 4x glasses, and put on my husband’s head band light. haha, i’m sure i will look purday. anyway, enuff procrastinating

for the last two days it’s been like 35 degrees celcius here. what is that in farenheit? i don’t even know. extremely, brutally hot. today i put the air conditioning on at 7 am and it’s just getting hotter and hotter in here. our window unit is no match for the baking rays of the sun. talk about global warming, it’s crazy. i get cranky when i’m cold, esp my feet in bed, i hate that, but being cold is not as bad as being super hot. you can put on clothes to combat the cold, but you can only take off so much to combat the heat. the heat doesn’t care what you are wearing. it’s ruthless. i am going to look at the weather channel to see how long this inferno is going to last.

I heard that there’s a sacred chord that David played and it pleased the Lord…

I am full of love and out of cigarettes.

I think I have made the decision to be sweet. Like honey. Some people, myself included, have big hearts, and get hurt at times. Then we develop all these nasty coping mechanisms and become hard. But they are useless and superficial anyway, they don’t work, and as a matter of fact, the coping mechanisms hurt us MORE. I’m not sure how I’m going to go about it, but I just want to ditch all the negatives, all the anger or whatever, and look at the world the way God does. Ok, maybe I REALLY don’t know how I’m going to go about it. But I can see glimpses of it, and intend to follow them.

It’s so sad that you can’t ‘get in a fight’ with a good friend online without them ditching you forever. To me, people online matter alot. And it hurts just as much as in real life when you get dumped. I’m sitting here with a sad heart, and that shouldn’t be. I guess I have been known to ditch people that irritated me online, but not when they were good friends. I guess I should get off the web if I want to avoid this, but I’m addicted to my computer, and there’s so much GOOD online. I listen to preachers, and get their podcasts, lots of good stuff. But it always seems I’m getting hurt. And that can’t be good.

I just watched a comedy special with Roseanne. I have a pretty bad sense of humor, but I think she just made a fool out of herself instead of being funny. She seems to hate everything, and that’s not all that laughable. I’m also pretty patient with ‘anti-religious’ people, coz i used to be one of them. But she just went on and on and on, until I realized it was scarey and sad, NOT FUNNY. I used to get real scared for non-Christians, now I try not to think about it for the most part, and then Roseanne has to blather on until I am again confronted with the HORROR. Thank you very much Roseanne, no wonder we haven’t seen you for ten years.

I look back on some of the old posts from a couple years ago, and it doesn’t feel like I feel right now. Not that I don’t love God, because I do, I’m just a little more calm and sure of things now. I’m less afraid over all I think. I’m stronger too. I still have ‘issues’ but they are far more manageable. I’m not all drugged up with no place to go anymore. At least, not as often. I see the writing on the wall faster too, so as soon as I see trouble I am able to get myself out of it before the repercussions hit. Or at least pray that God will get me out of it. I’m starting to want to do stuff again, thus this blog. I haven’t touched my website in soooo long. Well all that stuff sounds good, I think I will end the post

I got my movable type entries imported, and another nasty letter from blog moxie, that is an expensive lesson to learn… don’t pay to get a design done because if anything goes wrong you are screwed, and just out alot of money. they will just tell you that they don’t offer ‘lifetime support’ if you ever need help. Just install wordpress and be happy with the free templates.. movable type is not for the faint of heart. textpattern is pretty, but i don’t think it’s anywhere near as easy to use as wordpress. to use a template in wordpress all you have to do is download it and put it in your templates directory, then it’s available for you to select. badabing, badaboom.. anyway, i will never pay anybody to do anything for me again…

I spent alot of money on movable type and then getting blog moxie to make me blog templates, and for what??? to get hacked and find that nobody would help me! So I installed wordpress lickety split and am having no problems except that i CAN’T IMPORT MY MT ENTRIES!!! aaargh! I’m not impressed with that bit.. but I think it might be my computer somehow. I hit the ‘upload/import’ button and i get an error that says the connection was reset…