Well, I don’t really think i’m MEANT to be a part of a blogging community, i’m too soft hearted and when the slightest thing goes wrong, i run for the hills.. i guess i will just keep posting and people will keep not commenting, and life goes on. i’m not that great of a photographer anyway.. i’m not even that GOOD, never mind great.. i entered a contest to win a blog template, and i won, but it’s not up because i like pretty froo froo templates… i also won an ebook about blogging, lol, how ironic.. perhaps i should read it! anyway, my photoblog is pretty, but i hear it’s slow loading.. i think all photoblogs are slow loading. it’s almost midnight, time to ping that my photo is up.. guess i’ll just look at them myself

Well I’m having a grand old time over at my photoblog… It really is rather an artistic OUTLET.. Somehow I am expressing a part of myself that just didn’t have the where with all to get out before this. I was missing something, and now I think I’ve found it. Such a small thing to have asked, but it eluded me for so long.. I just wanted somebody to know I existed…

that’s it!! I’ve been up practically for 2 days straight, i get so crazed when i’m working on a web project.. Now my head is spinning.. could be the pain killers i took too.. but I’m sooo outta here and going to bed!

So for the love of God, click on my photoblog on the sidebar.. and go leave me a sweet comment

cheers, goodnight Elaine

listen to me sing if you dare… hehe

Ok here’s another song… without me really having to sing lol coz it’s talking, but you would AMAZED, in shock and awe, at how many people do this song very badly, and we’re talkin’ baaaaaad… so here’s my bad version of Madonna’s ‘Justify my Love’ haha

Wooohooo, I’m so excited!! My lovely friend Elaine has given me the bloggy best friend ultra distinguished award you now see before you… Elaine is such a great friend, you should stop by her blog, it’s always a fun and interesting read…

TADA!!! isn’t it beautiful? and there’s no tagging involved, which is known to drive all Elaines nuts

But I will share the love with my friends, that are indeed friends, some for years, some for weeks, but friends for sure…

1. Elaine over at Commotion from the Ocean of life - haha back at ya babe!! you’re my best commenting angel friend baby, love ya!

2. Megan at Silent Messenger, which is offline at the moment coz she keeps getting attacked by evil hackers… but we have been online friends since 2001, and it’s about time she got an award gosh darn it!

3. Sherri over at pearweed even though you can’t display your award coz you have a photoblog, I consider you a fast friend.. no no, not fast, hehe that sounds bad.

Ok, I know I didn’t have to give anybody the award, and this isn’t tagging, it’s just honoring some friends.. Love you Elaine!

There’s always fun to be had over at Elaine’s blog… turns out we are both honest, but i kicked her butt in a couple of areas, don’t know WHY… sorry Elaine lol it was fun tho

Your result for The Best Thing About You Test…

Honesty

Take The Best Thing About You Test at HelloQuizzy

Well I have been thinking of how I should have everything set up for days now, and I am really melting my brain.

I think, after MUCH thinking… that I will downgrade my website from 2 gig to 500 meg, and just have my photoblog seperate, i mean that’s what threatens to take up all the webspace anyway,  so i think i will keep my blog online here, because after experimenting with the free wordpress, i just don’t think i will be as happy there as here.

this just in.. my webhost dude just informed me that i had a smaller package and he recently upgraded me for free.. so i might be stupid to give that up.. but my time to pay my yearly bill is coming up at the end of the month, so if it’s not going to be the same as last year, i will still downgrade..

i totally DIG the new photoblog tho, i owe it all to Sherri, who got me onto the idea of having a beautiful standard photoblog.. now i need a new camera!

is over here at my a different blog that i was trying out

Hi Elaine, actually I’m still busy rethinking all of this, my most recent idea is to get rid of my website all together and just have a blog and a photo blog, on OTHER people’s servers lol i’m sick of getting hacked and all the hassle that goes with keeping this site up… i’ll let you know what i think, as soon as I know what I think lol

Ok, i revamped the design so that it’s now a photoblog I’m creating, and people can leave comments on individual posts, even if i do have more than one, a couple of thumbnails in it… I’m just starting to upload pics but you can look at the birth of my photoblog here, it’s called shuttering. let me know what you think!

Ok, Sherri, whose opinion i value, has said she doesn’t like the wordpress photoblog for some very good reasons, so i guess i’ll populate the pixel post one and see what you guys think of that. I know there’s a wordpress plugin for getting a thumbnail from a pixelpost blog. I installed a black theme on it with no problems, and i think it looks not bad, wish it had a batch upload though… anyway, the pixelpost blog is here but there’s not really any pictures in it yet…

I have decided to separate my gallery and my regular blog, that way template issues won’t get in the way, right now it’s so hard to find one template that works with both. if i take the gallery out of this blog, then i can use them purday skinny templates
Somebody recommended pixelpost, and I installed it and such, but didn’t like the templates, i had a plain white photo gallery before and got bored with it. So I figured I might as well stick to wordpress, and just use a blog template, instead of the boring photoblog templates… wordpress photoblog templates don’t have thumbnails, i hate dat.
So now I have thumbnails, but no comments on each individual photo. because I’m using lightbox. I imagine having no comments for each photo will make me nuts too, and it’s not a photoblog, it’s a gallery, so i can’t join all the photoblog rings… hmmm.. perhaps i should rethink this.

I can always find a source of endless amusement by looking for wordpress themes that work with my gallery. Wordpress should be infinitely proud of themselves for creating a web community that works the way the web SHOULD work. Easy to use software for those of us who are more challenged than the rest, creative out of the box themes, doesn’t get hacked every 10 minutes the way movable type does. I used b2 before there was wordpress, but i had to tear it down because of trackback spam. I think b2 sites STILL have that problem, because I recently had a website built with b2 that had a spam problem. the only problem I am concerned with for wordpress is the inability to create multiple blogs without reinstalling and starting from scratch for the new blog. who do i donate to for loving wordpress? is there like one person?

Talking about concerts on other blogs, and memories… I should have a ton of memories, because i used to hang out with a major groupie, and she took me backstage at every huge rockstar that ever came within a 500 mile radius of our home town.  She had sex with them, and i took pictures… lol not pictures of the sex, pictures of the musicians.

I lost all those pictures when my photography locker got broken into.  sad, i could have sold them on ebay today.  

but after i got older, i could never pay for a concert when i used to get in anywhere for free.  it took somebody really special for me to get out, and i saw laurie anderson when we first moved out to bc, but years later, and this one i’m proud of, the tickets sold out in 3 minutes flat, but a friend of mine got some for us.  right in the eighth row.  TOM WAITS, can you believe that i’ve seen him? even i can’t.. the show was so magical, that i tingled the whole time, and during a tiny lull someone even yelled out ‘you’re magic!!’.. it was the mule variations tour, great album.. if i could be any musician in the world, it would be tom waits.  anyway, enjoy the video!

YouTube - Tom Waits - Hold On.

Well, as it turns out, i was up all night, working on my new template, trying to get good pictures up in the header… at first i started out with a flickr badge, which was pretty but i could not for the nuthin’ get it to point to my galleries onclick. trying that took till about 11 this morning.

Now I’m working with a plugin that gets pictures willy nilly all over my blog and when you click on one of those they take you to a post i just happened to have a picture in, instead of to my galleries. i put little pink arrows between the pics, if anybody thinks to click on them it will take them to the galleries.

Not only that, the plugin isn’t working correctly, i’ve got it to display 10 pics, and everytime i took a pic out, it didn’t put back another one!! so it says 10 but i’ve got 7.. what a bummer that is. maybe if i deactivate the plugin and try again.. hmmm…

So i have to stay up all day too, to help my hubby move stuff from one storage place to a different storage place.. and we just had brutal (in a good way) back massages yesterday, i’m bruised i’ll tell ya that for free lol… aaah well, guess i will have some coffee!

I’m up late drinking chocolate milk and smoking cigarettes. I like the quiet time, after my husband has gone to bed and the house is shut up for the night, all the lights are out, and it’s just me and the glow of my computer. my husband uprgaded his phone today, got a fancier one, and I bought a tiny camera, it prolly takes crap picks, but its’ so cute. I bought it in blue coz they were all out of pink, i phoned back to ask if i could exchange the blue for pink when the pink came in. they gave me a hard time, finally i convinced them that i wouldn’t touch anything, just turn the camera on and check out features, but i can’t open the manuals coz they are sealed, and i really can’t figure out how to change the menu. it seems to be set on vivid colors and all my indoor pics are coming out yellow, but even when i magically find a menu to set pics after the fact to different color settings, it’s still yellow… oh well i guess that’s what i get for buying a cheap camera

I am to mention six quirky, yet boring facts about myself and then tag 6 other bloggers, this is all geriatric nurse’s fault

1. I just went to the hairdresser yesterday and had my black hair streaked GRAY, she thought I had gone mad, and said i would look so old and bad lol, i said i wanted to look distinguished and urbane

2. I think smoking cigarettes is heavenly, yes I’m an addict, a complete junky

3. I recently stopped shaving my legs, trying to get back to my french roots

4. my makeup is tattoo’d on

5. I’m old and fat and still think i’m gorgeous

6. I can clap with one hand.

What I consider to be the 13 most beautiful people of all movie time…

1. Brad Pitt - these aren’t in any particular order, but brad came to mind first, i don’t why *grin* he looks good no matter what he does and that’s rare, he was even cute in 12 monkies

2. Marilyn Monroe - the classic sweet sexiness of Marilyn cannot be denied, there’s been nobody like her since

3. Andie MacDowell - there’s something so practically perfect about Andie’s face that she had to be on the list

4. Johnny Depp - well he’s beautiful as a man or a woman, nuff said

5. Rita Hayworth - that scene from Mame where she is brushing her hair and then flips it up..

6. Kiera Knightly - a classic beauty in our own time

7. Michelle Pfeiffer - Sometimes there’s a toss up, meg ryan, meryl streep, natalie portman, charlize theron, julia roberts, kate beckinsdale, halle berry, nichole kidman, who can choose only 13 beautiful people?

8. Paul Newman - cool hand luke pictures are hard to come by, but those blue eyes needed to be shown

9. Robert Redford - did you see him when he played ‘death’ in the twilight zone? made it seem like it would be GOOD to die? lol

10. Kim Bassinger - ooh, with mickey rourke? remember?

11. Orlando Bloom - his look in lord of the rings? i mean GIVE ME A BREAK

12. Elizabeth Taylor - well she was goooood lookin’ alright

13. Audrey Hepburn - the only human being that makes you think of a wild colt skipping in the grass

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bridgeview, originally uploaded by Elaine !.

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I took this picture speeding over a bridge in our car, and of course the bridge has motion blur, but if you look closely the river and the buildings on the oposite side are in focus!

my husband was 37 minutes late coming home today… yes, i mark the minutes and think about stuff like car accidents. i mean it DID occur to me that he may have stopped for coffee, but that was not enough to stop the rumbling rolling train of my worries. as the moments go on, i begin picturing blood and carnage as he lays dying in a terrible wreck. i picture myself kicking the crap out of the police officer that comes to the door to tell me he’s dead. i imagine immediately commiting hari kari, as i won’t be able to continue life without him. i heard sirens going by that sounded like they stopped nearby.. i went stalking up the road to see if i could spot the carnage. my husband drives around the corner and i flag him down and start ripping a strip off him for not calling. turns out that i was the only bad thing that happened to him this afternoon.. giggle my period is also 37 minutes late, i may be pregnant

That wifey test actually made me feel bad. I mean I know i’m not the ‘classic’ wife, but i do consider myself a catch because i’m so kind and smart and stuff. Though I WISH I could cook. My husband does the cooking, not the way a woman would, mostly when we are desperately hungry or when he feels like it. Anyway, it’s so heavenly when my husband cooks, i mean he makes me feel like i’m home, and loved and taken care of, all in one fell swoop… aaaah the smells. the tastes… I wish I had that power. to make him feel so good. I call him my food angel. that’s MY man!!

Over at Elaine’s blog she gave me the terrrrrrible idea of taking this test… I knew I would do very very badly, that’s why I had to take it. Since I don’t cook, clean, or have babies lol… here’s the results:

9 As a 1930s wife, I am Very Poor (Failure) Take the test!

That’s not 9 out of 10 that’s 9 out of ONE HUNDRED people…

ok i took the test again without being so funny lol and here are the results:

33 As a 1930s wife, I am Poor Take the test!

here’s how my husband rates, and yes he answered HIMSELF lol

20 As a 1930s husband, I am Very Poor (Failure) Take the test!

Well probably the most outstanding olympic games is over, the opening ceremony was astounding, as was the closing, and in between i followed the progress of the athletes over at Elaine’s blog, even tho, Elaine, Canada was a little underrepresented hehe… We congratulate our athletes and we are really worried that we will be able to live up to it with our winter olympics lol

Sometimes I sit here to write with just a feeling that I want to talk about something. I’m like that in real life too, I want to talk when my husband comes and sits next to me on the couch, but the words are stuck in my throat. I actually have a literal feeling of them being stuck there, i can feel something just above my thyroid. Talk about psychosomatic. I’m a totally psychosomatic person, my thoughts and feelings always affect my body in some bad way. Not that it doesn’t work the other way around too. Good feelings, like sacred in the secret place with God, can make my body feel blissful and heavenly. I just think anxiety is closer to the top and gets more air time. But someday, God will have me full time in the sacred place, and I will know heaven on earth.

we are so flat out desperate broke, we have no money for food or gas for the car, we have nothing left to eat, and can’t go anywhere, stuck at home, starving, with nobody to help us.. a friend of mine was going to send me money, she begged me about 250 times to take the money, then of course she didn’t send any money and i never heard from her again… i don’t know why i caved and said yes she could help me, because knowing people the way i do, i should have known it would terminate the friendship.. it’s not that i’m angry at her for not giving me money, i’m angry at her for ditching me because HER shame afterwards.. i loathe paying for other peoples’ mistakes, it seems i’m doing it all the time. i also made the mistake of saying yes, after the hundred and hundredth time she asked me to take the money.. i will never expect a friend to be true again. at least not an online friend, no accountibility

Can anybody tell me if they are getting errors when they try to comment to my site? i know i am, and tink complained about it before, on a different theme… please if you could keep me informed on how bad things are out there lol Thanks so much for anybody that can help me… cheers!

After I did my last post it said i had 200 posts and 400 comments, isn’t that odd? to have those exact numbers, and i noticed it which was weird. I have absolutely nothing to blog about but yet i have 200 posts, strutting and fretting my hour on the blogging stage, signifying nothing aaah well, i like having you to talk to, even if it’s about nonsense. I remember that line, I think it was in the movie ‘Contact’.. where she says everyone who isn’t asleep is walking around in utter awe. I’m like that in a way, it’s like the world is so big, i have been struck dumb. I can’t express the things that make me silent. sometimes it’s just looking at my dog, her innocence and beauty, her joy, you HAVE to know God exists when you look at a dog. all those thousands of hairs going in the same direction, swirling around the curves of her legs, and each of them is numbered by God. I just don’t think evolution could cause all the magnificence we see around us. When left to our own devices, everything leads to death, not life. take a look at a flower today, feel the sweet softness of it’s petals, and tell me it all happened from soup…

my fave on Canadian Idol got kicked off last night.. he did come together again, and at the end he smashed his guitar, and i guess the show had a few extra seconds, but it just showed him standing before the screaming audience, waving his hand a bit, and i started to cry.. i was hoping mookie could win

YouTube - Mookie Morris - Come Together.

ourbaby, originally uploaded by Elaine !.

It looks as though we should have had children lol.. my hubby seems to be a natural..

sorry to the people coming here from shutter sisters, i know it looks like i nominated MYSELF lol my sister in law, who is much taller than i am, took this shot, and i didn’t understand the instructions for one sweet shot, i didn’t know we were supposed to nominate other peoples’ BLOGS, i just thought ‘well i didn’t take the picture, and it’s a sweet shot’ lololol so, sorry… i’ll do better next time!

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the sun’s coming out after a day of rain. it’s nice because it’s too late in the day to get hot, but it makes the world look cheery after the cleansing rain. Milo the pug just stopped by the window for a visit, my chihuahua barked at him the whole time, vibrating and growling, she’s soooo jealous that I might look at another dog lol.. reminds me of some old boyfriends. oh no! i just realized.. my dog’s co-dependent!! lol

I awoke this morning ready for our first day of… the rest of my life.. and found that my online gal pal Elaine over at Commotion from the Ocean of Life, had left me an award. I’m so honored!!

Now according to the rules, I have to spread spread the love and pass this award on to 7 other bloggers. I’m going to have a hard time narrowing this down, but I think I can do it. You’ll find a wide range of blogs in this list and every single one of them is a great read. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do and maybe you’ll be as “addicted” to them as I am!!

In no particular order, my nominees are:

1. Butterflies

2. A Gentleman’s domain

3. Kitchen Gadget Girl

4. Rambling Roads

5. Secret Agent Mama

6. She Lives

7. Slacking Overachiever

For the nominees here are the rules:
1) Add the logo of the award to your blog
2) Add a link to the person who awarded it to you
3) Nominate at least 7 other blogs
4) Add links to those blogs on your blog
5) Leave a message for your nominees on their blogs

I’m watching a tv show on the more spiritual tv channel, and it’s about exorcism. There’s a Catholic priest saying he’s done 65,000, but he also said that it takes many years to free someone from the devil, which i found surprising. That’s not what horror movies lead you to believe. The priest said sometimes it takes 15 years. strange.

I’ve had experiences that I thought were the devil at first, because I was raised Catholic and had that sort of sensibility. Now I don’t think the devil and demons can attack people that way, otherwise probably everybody would be attacked. I’m not sure what was going on in the Bible, what with all the possessed people wandering around.. but it was probably the same thing that goes on now when people think they are possessed.. dissociative identity disorder, schizophrenia, some sort of mental fragmenting where the pieces that break off appear to be not part of you anymore, but still in you. these could easily be called demons, or in fact be taken advantage of by real demons. who knows..

I’m not saying a negative spiritual world doesn’t exist, i just don’t think they have much power over us, except to perhaps lie, like the serpent in the garden. we all know that bad beliefs can lead us to hell in a rail cart, but we also know the truth will set us free.

I love photography, in my own little way. I get a wee rush everytime i push the shutter release, and excitedly look at the LCD screen after to see if the picture has a certain something. The difference between the GRD and the GRD II is not much, but I can’t help wanting that EXTRA certain something that the GRD has. but I’m hesitant to spend the money, because i might be disappointed. tho that’s kind of a losery perspective. i should hope for the best and try. for my certain something.

well i’ve spent the day listening to so many Christian preaching podcasts that i had to stop because i couldn’t take in one poot more information. It’s amazing how I love to immerse myself in God’s Word, but have trouble reading the Bible. The Bible used to scare me so badly! It’s ok, now, but I’m still a little nervous about picking it up, frightened of what i might find. I always think the scary scriptures are talking about ME. It’s really a lack of understanding that keeps me in fear, but I need God to heal the fears Himself, because I can’t help misinterpreting scriptures. aaaah I will read the Bible more someday, God told me to, and I can’t disobey!

well i’m all doped up on ativan because i had to go to the dentist. I used to be so scared of the dentist i would pace the floor filled with fear. plotting how i could get all my teeth pulled and get dentures. but God healed me of that fear, and now, as long as there’s no huge pain, i fall asleep in the dentist’s chair. prolly snoring all the way, mouth open, drooling down the side of my cheek. dental workers are really good at not mentioning your unbecoming positions. I love ativan.

My little niece wants to be a model when she grows up, tragic gene pool to come from for such an aspiration, but she always makes me take a zillion pictures of her while she ’strikes a pose’.. here she is with her hip stuck out but you can’t even tell coz she’s not old enuff to have hips lol

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aaaah it’s raining today, so i have all the windows wide open with cool fresh air blowing in. God is smiling on me and my broken air conditioner predicament. Though if we don’t get money in the next couple days, it’s supposed to be a scorcher thursday and friday.

My husband was talking to his mom on the phone, and he said that he feels our hardships are bringing he and i closer. I thought that was so sweet it made my heart squinch. Sometimes my husband has a childlike way of finding the bright side, and it’s always such a pleasant surprise when he does.

I’m having a good day all around, my body is pretty much pain free, well sorta.. and i can almost see the rainbow color of the breeze blowing in my hair. it’s good.

I have a blogging friend who has come to the end of it. He wrote long pain/confusion posts trying to solve ‘the problem’ of this life, while being immersed in the problem, such that he couldn’t see it. He reminds me of me 10 years ago, so it’s a little bit of loving myself, the fool that I was, every time I read his struggle with the air. We struggle to grab onto something, something to hold on to in the storm, but only pain finds us… until God does. God has yet to get ahold of Dom and pistol whip him I look forward to the day when Dom finds out where the REAL ‘cool’ is. dang, it’s always in the last place you look!

The first time I felt impotent rage was when my childhood doctor sat on my head to give me a shot, while i screamed and couldn’t move. This total inability to do anything remotely resembling what you want, makes for the impotence plus rage combination. The second time I have felt it is NOW. Having zero money, and the inability to get anything, makes for the same head sitting on feeling. I guess, most other times in my life I have felt like I had some modicum of control. But I know this feeling. And I never forget it after it’s over. Will this ever be over?

Well I’ve got a rather boring theme, that I made myself with at this Wordpress Theme Generator place. I guess I don’t mind it, because IT WORKS for one thing, i don’t have text up beside an image, and my gallery works and looks good. One thing I will not do is succumb to the temptation of PAYING to get a blog template made, they do a crappy job, and you have to choose the artwork anyway, and charge you hundreds of dollars before and after you get hacked.. I think i have complained about such things before haha.

My husband is baking bread, who knew we had the ingredients, we certainly don’t have any OTHER food around here. I can hardly wait for the smell. I’m going to eat the whole loaf while it’s hot out of the oven, mmm mmm