You know, I broke my back, a compression fracture of two lumbar vertebrae when I was 15 years old, then I was in so many car accidents after that, that i ended up with chronic pain syndrome, where i would often end up in screaming pain in the emergency room, with my back so bad they thought I was passing kidney stones. And guess what. My HUSBAND, had a childhood trauma about being told to massage his granny’s back, and he won’t massage mine without a huge fight, i have to be in terrible terrible pain to even work up the courage to ask him for one, which is about twice a year. He’s afraid that if he gives me back massages I’ll want one every night, isn’t that nice? last year I gave him back massages every night for a year, and not once did he think to reciprocate.. he thinks if he gives me an inch i’ll take a mile, so he won’t give an inch. i ask you again, isn’t that nice? Once, a long time ago, he gave me shiatsu once a week or so, for about 6 months, it didn’t even help, but I wanted him to think it did, because at least he was trying, and now when i bring up that he won’t give back massages, all he does is bring up his ‘hellish’ few months of shiatsu, isn’t that… nice? he says I’m making him pay for my past… nice… can you imagine living your life, never giving for fear of being taken? when he’s in any kind of pain, i beg to give him a back massage, because making the one you love feel better is one of life’s great gifts, it’s a freakin’ mardi gras, and he’ll never GET THAT.. if i read him this post, he would just think tons of evil thoughts about how I’m trying to make him do something he doesn’t want to do……………….. nice.

3 of my beautiful websites are dead now… invisiblebeautiful.com all dead, badpuppydog.com, all dead, trashstock.net, all dead… I am crying. thank the hackers, anyone who liked those sites, thank the hackers….