i managed to rearrange my furniture into a new room WITHOUT decorating advice. we have TONS of floor space now. it’s a total trek across the living room. i’m going out to look for a cool fan, one that’s sort of decorative. coz right now the air conditioning is just blowing on the back of the tv. the only thing that messed me up is a surge protector cord isn’t long enuff, but hubby says he can rearrange things to make it all work. our place looks huge! i’m so excited. my hubby still has to fix up his computer area tho. but all in all we are pretty near done!

I’ve been searching the net for days for decorating/rearranging ideas, and if i hear the words ‘focal point’ one more time i’m going to kill my focal point just to watch it die. can’t they think of anything other than areas rugs and moving the couches away from the wall to be different? hellooooo if they are all saying the same thing, it’s not DIFFERENT! and besides, i’m rearranging to get my couches BACK against the wall, you know, to have FLOOR SPACE.. sheesh. and my dog would just pee all over an area rug…. anyway, i’m totally disgusted that i can’t find anything inspiring on the net. something i should be used to by now.

I have decided I’m going to put my computer on an accent table at the end of the couch. Since I have an iMac there’s only the monitor and keyboard.. oh and the mouse. the mouse will be a little bit of a problem. the table i have in mind is pretty small. but at least i won’t be staring at the back of the tv while i’m on my puter.. and my husband will have the entire computer area to himself. and i bought him another set of ikea shelves for all his computer crap. ..yeah we had a wee trip to ikea tonight, i spent a hundred bucks, on not much. i think that essential things should be free does that make me a communist? lol maybe.. i just think that people should be taken care of. actually i think that just makes me a Christian.

I’m trying to think of ways to make our livingroom/office area look better without actually spending any money. i’m going to do a hack job, but it should free up some space. to give us a more airey feeling. the big problem is our HUGE tv. it’s big, and it’s the older technology with the big back. so there is basically only one place we can put it. but i’m going to put it behind my computer table, which faces into the room right now, and from now on i will be staring at the back of the tv while i’m at my computer, which sucks, but we really have to get the couch out of the middle of the room. it makes everything look so small and cluttered. having a nice open floor space will be better. i’m sure that staring at the back of the tv will get to me, but i can’t think of anything else to do. maybe it will help me to spend less time at my computer.

my husband was complaining that our place isn’t cozy enuff, and it is pretty modern and industrial.. we have black metal futons with black covers (always covered in chihuahua hair).. so i was trying to look into the ikea site for blankets, and suddenly i remembered these flannel duvet covers with a brown and creme plaid pattern on them.. so i covered the two couches and i’m trying to tell myself it’s shabby chique. i don’t mind it though, as a make shift move for the cozier.

anyway, after this is over, it will look bigger on the couch/tv side of the room, but i will be cramped in behind the tv in my computer area. i wish i could think of something different, but i can’t. i’ve been thinking about it for two days. aaah well, onward and upward.

smoking too many ciggies first thing in the morning no doubt.

My back hasn’t even recovered from the other night and tonight a bunch of us were making cards. so i made this fancy card that you pulled on a tab and two end pieces came out… i stamped them with goldfish and bubbles, and colored the goldfish orange to match my orange accent paper and the orange ribbon, but the card itself was lime green, very bright it was.

On the front i wrote ‘hey baby !!!’ and on the left side i wrote ‘let’s get a fish!’ and on the right side i wrote ‘love exo’..

we prolly won’t get a fish tho

but i gave it my best shot.

i only went tonight to make up for missing a party the other night.. i’m only allowed to make excuses about half the time lol.

You ever have one of those back crunching days that never seems to end? it’s like 4:30 in the morning and i just got home.. now i have to wait for the pain killers to kick in before i go to sleep. first off the day started with a GANG of us storming ‘Michael’s’, you know that huge ass hobby craft store? estrogen! incoming! we went there sometime in the afternoon and didn’t get out until almost seven o’clock.. and we were due at a cranium party at seven. that was an adventure, imagine thirty people playing cramium, the noise level was deafening… that many people playing and i still had time to sneak out for ciggies when it was the other teams turn. it was fun, but i think the most fun i had was playing with my fave niece, she’s like 6, she’s the only one i can relate to on a consistent basis lol.. she totally laughs at everything, just like me. we were trying to scare each other in the back seat of the van.. she was better at it then me, i got her to turn her head slowly and say stuff like ‘they’re baaaack’ in a whisper type voice and ‘they mostly come at night.. mostly’.. i managed to scare her with a simple ‘booga booga’ and she almost started crying lol the poor wee thing. so i got her all riled up and she wouldn’t go to bed, this is part of my job as an auntie. she was sitting on the dinning room table crossed legged after we got home from the cranium party, and we were commencing to play sherades into the wee hours, anyway, suddenly my little niece shuts her eyes and puts herself in the lotus position, with her hands in the right spot and everything, and she goes ‘OMMMMMMMM’ and we all nearly pee’d ourselves laughing, so she kept doing it until our stomachs hurt. i was like, wtf?? are they teaching you that in SCHOOL? lol… poor little maleable mind. hehe….

i was the one who had to act out all the sherades while heather sat there and guessed. it was aerobic. i’m all sweaty and tired now. but all in all it’s a good kind of tired. as much as i go kicking and screaming to be dragged around by everyone, i usually end up having a good time.

This guy in myspace wrote me a message and just SPEWED hate all over me lol. That sort of thing doesn’t bother me after the initial reaction, because words like that don’t deserve respect. they can say all these awful things about me, and it just goes in one ear, mucks me up for a second, then goes out the other ear. who i am is between me and God, and He loves me! so because of that, i love myself. and no no they can’t take that away from me… lalala.

i have successfully installed a gallery script and am going to put all my photos in there instead of the difficult to use one that blog moxie’s mel made for me. for the last two days i have been putting photos in it and it still seems like i don’t have that many in there. and another thing, i’m running without plugins because i have a mac now and all my pc photo altering plugins don’t work on here. so i’m just sharpening and working with curves and levels, and that’s about it. i wouldn’t have thought i could get away with so little, but the photos are looking quite nice. you can visit my gallery here: http://www.wonderstruck.com/photos/ it’s not a blog, and that kinda irks me, that new photos get stuck in there willy nilly.. but that’s ok i guess. nobody looks at my photos anyway hehe. oh actually i found out that you can order the catagories by date, so the new photos show up at the top.. so i guess that’s like a blog.

I bought a paint by number kit last night. To me the idea sounds great, but as my time of actually starting to do it approaches, I find I’m balking. I am cleaning off an area to paint, sloooowly. I mean cleaning slowly, not painting slowly. Part of me is still looking forward to starting, and another part of me is resisting it, the way I resist all projects. But I must say I haven’t felt this good about a project in… I don’t know when. Usually the way it goes is I like the idea of the finished product and torture myself through doing it. But this is the other way around. Who cares about a finished paint by number? lol.. it’s the painting itself that i want to do. i’ll have to wear my 4x glasses, and put on my husband’s head band light. haha, i’m sure i will look purday. anyway, enuff procrastinating

for the last two days it’s been like 35 degrees celcius here. what is that in farenheit? i don’t even know. extremely, brutally hot. today i put the air conditioning on at 7 am and it’s just getting hotter and hotter in here. our window unit is no match for the baking rays of the sun. talk about global warming, it’s crazy. i get cranky when i’m cold, esp my feet in bed, i hate that, but being cold is not as bad as being super hot. you can put on clothes to combat the cold, but you can only take off so much to combat the heat. the heat doesn’t care what you are wearing. it’s ruthless. i am going to look at the weather channel to see how long this inferno is going to last.

I heard that there’s a sacred chord that David played and it pleased the Lord…

I am full of love and out of cigarettes.

I think I have made the decision to be sweet. Like honey. Some people, myself included, have big hearts, and get hurt at times. Then we develop all these nasty coping mechanisms and become hard. But they are useless and superficial anyway, they don’t work, and as a matter of fact, the coping mechanisms hurt us MORE. I’m not sure how I’m going to go about it, but I just want to ditch all the negatives, all the anger or whatever, and look at the world the way God does. Ok, maybe I REALLY don’t know how I’m going to go about it. But I can see glimpses of it, and intend to follow them.

It’s so sad that you can’t ‘get in a fight’ with a good friend online without them ditching you forever. To me, people online matter alot. And it hurts just as much as in real life when you get dumped. I’m sitting here with a sad heart, and that shouldn’t be. I guess I have been known to ditch people that irritated me online, but not when they were good friends. I guess I should get off the web if I want to avoid this, but I’m addicted to my computer, and there’s so much GOOD online. I listen to preachers, and get their podcasts, lots of good stuff. But it always seems I’m getting hurt. And that can’t be good.

I just watched a comedy special with Roseanne. I have a pretty bad sense of humor, but I think she just made a fool out of herself instead of being funny. She seems to hate everything, and that’s not all that laughable. I’m also pretty patient with ‘anti-religious’ people, coz i used to be one of them. But she just went on and on and on, until I realized it was scarey and sad, NOT FUNNY. I used to get real scared for non-Christians, now I try not to think about it for the most part, and then Roseanne has to blather on until I am again confronted with the HORROR. Thank you very much Roseanne, no wonder we haven’t seen you for ten years.

I look back on some of the old posts from a couple years ago, and it doesn’t feel like I feel right now. Not that I don’t love God, because I do, I’m just a little more calm and sure of things now. I’m less afraid over all I think. I’m stronger too. I still have ‘issues’ but they are far more manageable. I’m not all drugged up with no place to go anymore. At least, not as often. I see the writing on the wall faster too, so as soon as I see trouble I am able to get myself out of it before the repercussions hit. Or at least pray that God will get me out of it. I’m starting to want to do stuff again, thus this blog. I haven’t touched my website in soooo long. Well all that stuff sounds good, I think I will end the post

I think I will make a new photo blog while I’m at it, one that isn’t such a pain in the ass to use.. maybe jalbum or something.. have to look into it. But if something isn’t as easy as wordpress to install I probably won’t do it. I just found out that snidget doesn’t have a blog anymore, wow, it’s the end of an era! I have no bloggy friends, it seems that butterflies isn’t blogging much anymore. And I can’t write an entertaining blog that people will want to read haha. So no friends, no possibilities. I do like my blog template at the moment, but still wish I could find something perfect. I signed up for a new myspace account after the debauchle, but can’t bring myself to look for new friends. So perhaps I will just talk to noone in particular here.

I got my movable type entries imported, and another nasty letter from blog moxie, that is an expensive lesson to learn… don’t pay to get a design done because if anything goes wrong you are screwed, and just out alot of money. they will just tell you that they don’t offer ‘lifetime support’ if you ever need help. Just install wordpress and be happy with the free templates.. movable type is not for the faint of heart. textpattern is pretty, but i don’t think it’s anywhere near as easy to use as wordpress. to use a template in wordpress all you have to do is download it and put it in your templates directory, then it’s available for you to select. badabing, badaboom.. anyway, i will never pay anybody to do anything for me again…

My husband takes the brunt of things when stuff goes wrong with my computer. He’s normally real good at fixing computer stuff and does it for lots of people, but it seems whenever I have a problem it’s beyond his comprehension. and of course it’s noooobody else’s fault when you write letters. it’s like that field in hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy.. the ’somebody else’s problem’ field, made people invisible lol… tho my webhost guy is trying to help me now, i just don’t want to get my hopes up for tonight..

I spent alot of money on movable type and then getting blog moxie to make me blog templates, and for what??? to get hacked and find that nobody would help me! So I installed wordpress lickety split and am having no problems except that i CAN’T IMPORT MY MT ENTRIES!!! aaargh! I’m not impressed with that bit.. but I think it might be my computer somehow. I hit the ‘upload/import’ button and i get an error that says the connection was reset…