I won a free trip to LA to be in an infomercial for the weight loss plan I used. I hope they don’t use that nasty before shot of me in my bathing suit lol.. they prolly will. Oh well, I will prolly end up on the cutting room floor, on accounta they don’t know I’m weird It’s very exciting, tho I’m nervous about travelling alone in the states. I’ve never been to Los Angeles. I have a stop over in vegas too, will have to do some gambling in the airport lol.. just kidding, I will prolly be quaking with fear by gate B. I’m feeling so far from God these days with all the worldly stuff going on, the visitors, now this trip.. I’m not doing my usual just concentrating on God stuff.. I wonder what God is thinking about me. I wonder if He is shoving me out into the world and approves, or if He is getting mad at me. He promised me a close relationship with Him, so I’ll just have to trust Him..

We have out of town visitors. My hubby’s sister, and her hubby are in from back home. We’re having a grand ol’ time. I tried to take Jesus with me the whole night, it’s sort of a new thing I’m trying to do.. believe that Jesus is ‘easy’.. You know what I mean? In the bible it says that Jesus’ yoke is easy and His burden is light.. But I have been working my butt off to be a Christian and haven’t believed that Jesus is easy. I don’t think I was very successful tonight and really only succeeded in forgetting about Jesus alot of the time lol. which is easy, but I don’t think that’s really what Jesus meant. since we are supposed to ‘abide’ in Him. Tho I do have a pleasant over all feeling of God’s healing presence upon me these days that makes it hard to forget about Him entirely. I am in a state of gratitude. My state of being is so peaceful that I have to take note of it and cry out to the Lord every now and then, thank You! Spending a pleasant evening with visitors talking amicably about not much of anything, smiling, laughing, feeling good.. others might take this for granted.. I DO NOT.. Thank You God! Jesus said ‘with out Me you can do nothing’.. non-Christians don’t get to find this out because they live by God’s grace.. and even worldly Christians don’t get to find this out.. but smitten Christians get to find out that they are utterly and completely dependant on God for their ALL. All their old ways of doing things stop working for them and they find new troubles in everything they used to do, new things to cry out to God about, they reach the end of their rope repeatedly, in all endeavors, and God is mighty to save. It might seem frustrating at first, but I’m sure that there’s just the transitional period, while you are being trained to do things God’s way, until you are controled by the Holy Spirit. Oh what a happy to look forward to.. I will try to do better tomorrow..

Well today I feel so good in God, like He is following me through my day, like I don’t have to strain myself to seek Him. The movie ‘twister’ is on the country music station in a while. I put it on the station to wait for it and I’m watching the singers sing their songs and I feel that God is watching the singers with me and He will watch ‘twister’ with me. I feel lovely. There’s a scripture that tells us that if we are going to work, work to enter into rest with the Lord. Maybe that’s what all my working has been about then aye? So that I can have days like today where I can just be carried around in His arms. I want to always be in His company, in His presence. I dearly hope that my being a Jesus freak will pay off with Him blessing me that way. With His presence. His beauty.

Do you remember the story of humpty dumpty? he sat on a wall, humpty dumpty had a great fall. all the kings horses and all the kings men couldn’t put humpty back together again. But what they never told you is the implied truth that only God can put humpty back together again, and God WILL put him back together. can i get a witness? who is the hero in all our personal fairy tales we tell in our head? JESUS, that’s who, He’s the one who rides in on a white horse and saves us from all bad things. Jesus, my hero, my God and my Saviour, I love You today tomorrow and forever, according to Your grace.

I’m thinking about husbands. butterflies husband is going soon and I was thinking how strong she is. I know that I couldn’t take that and be strong like her, well I was saying in a comment that it had to be God.. Sometimes I get so mad at my hubby, for things like sleeping his durned life away or some such thing. But I’m looking at him sleeping on the couch right now and I’m so glad that HE’S HERE!! Sleeping his eighteenth hour of the day or how ever long he’s been sleeping because I didn’t wake him up today. If he wants to sleep his life away I’m glad that he’s alive to do it with me. Some people call sleep ‘the little death’, but I’m here to tell ya that sleep is not death because you get to come back. My husband may be gone for eighteen hours and counting today, but he will be back. Some people are not so lucky.

Well God has delivered me from smoking! That viscious, demonic, awful smoking habit I had. I’m just left with a few ‘normal’ smoking withdrawal pangs, like I remember from when I was young and quitting smoking, nothing serious. Just sorta crave a cigarette and get cranky. No searing pain from hell. I cut a nicotine patch into quarters yesterday and put on a fourth of a patch just to get a little bit of help. I also did that ’smoke away’ kit this week. Yesterday’s wee patch is still on my shoulder. I didn’t put another patch on today. We’ll see how I hold up. If it’s a problem maybe I will put on an eighth of a patch today and no patch tomorrow. Anyway, it’s good to be free! God is soooooooo good to me! Bless the Lord oh my soul and forget not all His benefits, Who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases!